Started March 12, completed March 26th. (Typical.)
It’s not what you think.
Last night I was having dinner with several of my close girlfriends at a beautiful restaurant in Yaletown; Giardino’s. One of the girls asked me what turning 29 meant to me, as the dinner was a birthday celebration. It’s a fantastic question, and it conjures many feelings. I feel pride and excitement for where I am today and what I have accomplished, but I also feel frustration and regret for where I am not. The past few weeks have been tough at points, because I can be incredibly hard on myself, particularly in regards to my accomplishments. By this time in my life, I really thought I would have achieved a lot more.
Some of the things I thought I would have accomplished by 29:
- Have an established youtube channel,
- Be a political activist,
- Be published or featured in publications I admire like Fast Company and BC Business, and
- Make more money, quite frankly.
The reason we become entrepreneurs in the first place is that we have a vision, a goal for how our lives will turn out and for the kind of work we will do to get there. Sometimes our visions are grand, and it can be a dark experience coming to terms with the fact that you’re not as capable as you thought, or maybe you’re just not as suited to something as you thought.
But as mentioned, reflecting on where I am today also brings to focus all of the wonderful things that have happened along the way, and immense gratitude for what life allows me today, namely, freedom.
Freedom to work from wherever (completing this post tonight from SFO), is by far what makes the grind and the hustle worth it for me. Working for myself, from home or from a co-working space means I am able to set my own hours as well which has allowed me to live a fuller life than I had previously. I was always stressed about my girl (my dog), when I worked in an office – I hated myself for leaving her alone all day (though I would go home at lunch to see her as often as I could). There’s also an enormous sense of self-satisfaction and pride that comes along with knowing that you are making it all happen on your own, that you aren’t reliant on anybody else. These are things that hold great value for me, and so the stress and mental craziness I endure will always be worth it.
If you’re considering making the leap to self-employment, here are 10 things to consider:
Your paycheques are never guaranteed. This is rather obvious, but it’s a cold realization when you look at your friends buying new Gucci purses with their direct-deposit bi-monthly pay cheques and you’re like, uhhh another contract would really help me pay all the bills.
Time management is a skill to master before taking the plunge. And can be practiced with simple self-starter tasks. It’s importance to evaluate where you’re at with this before you spread your entrepreneurial wings because it’s going to dictate your everyday life, as well as your success rate. I still struggle with this; getting the hustle going when all you want to do is crawl under a blanket on the couch with your dog.
Meet ups and conferences are almost never worth the time. While some conferences can provide value in the talks and in the networking opportunities, I really believe that when you’re getting your gig up and running, that time is arguably more valuably spent pitching for clients (aka sales). Truth be told, nearly every time I go to an industry-related event, I walk away thinking uggghh why did I waste those few hours??
You’re a full-time salesperson. The bottom line everyday is how many products have you sold, how many contracts do you have? Aka, how is your business growing and how much money is hitting your account?
Everyday is a work day, there are no real weekends. Seriously.
There will be really shitty, dark days where you think really long and hard about giving it all up.
In Canada, you have to contribute your portion, and what would be your employer’s portion of your CPP. Basically, you have to pay more, as well as having to remit all your taxes and CPP yourself. Get set up with an accountant asap, and then choose whether you’ll report your revenue on a quarterly or annual basis, based on your business and your calendar preference.
You will question yourself like you’ve never questioned yourself before. You will question your self worth, your belief in yourself, your aptitude, why you’re the person for the job – any job. The insecurity gets real (and frustrating).
Your friends and family won’t understand what you’re doing, why you’re giving up the security of employment, a stable retirement contribution plan, and a monthly paycheque.
Until you reach some sort of tipping point where you find industry acknowledgement and gain traction in your business, finding support will be a challenge. This is a reality that is hard to stomach, keep those who get it very close. In my experience people will be proud of you, but they won’t really get it.
And as a (shitty) bonus, it doesn’t get easier. It becomes more fun, but the ride doesn’t get easier.
These are all pills that are hard to swallow, I removed the sugar-coating. I felt inclined to write this because self-employment really is a lonely grind a lot of the time and I’m not sure how much that is communicated. I see no sense in pretending that it’s glitter and fabulous in the start up phase – but I hope to find the glitter in the coming years.
Just quickly, a few things I hope to achieve in 2017, now that I have aligned my expectations with reality:
- A burgeoning youtube channel,
- A growing readership here on thepaperandcoffee.com,
- And, a reactive daily existence, rather than a proactive daily existence (clients come to me on a regular basis).
Any further questions, email me directly at olivia@olivialovenmark.com.
