The New York Times

As a millennial woman, I feel like I exist in an odd gap. The expectations surrounding both my age and my gender are rather contradictory.

With regard to my age, 28 and a half, I am nicely positioned within the millennial spectrum. Up until a couple of years ago, before life got serious and all of a sudden conversation turned to the purchasing of homes, marriage and babies, life as a millennial was pretty simple. Your job didn’t have to represent your career, your partner didn’t necessarily have to represent your husband or wife. As life became more serious I started to notice something frustrating: the glaring gap in the messaging that is directed at our age group. On one end there is the widely held notion that we should follow our passions. On the other there is the idea that as a generation we shouldn’t be so expectant that life will turn out just like our Pinterest boards, we should settle. In regards to career, my understanding is that this means putting our noses to the grind and committing to a stable, maybe corporate, job that we don’t love while after work hobbies serve our needs to be entrepreneurial and creative. The gap in expectation for what kind of life we are, or I am, meant to live has become more evident as decisions have started to carry more impact and the paths we choose become more permanent.

Certainly the belief that a corporate job is the correct choice stems from our parents, grandparents and parents’ friends. These are also the folks who have been known to categorize millennials as lazy for wanting what we want, when we want it. We’ve been accused of not working hard enough, like the boomers say they had to when they were our age. I don’t believe for a second that we are a lazy generation and whoever believes that should go check in with Silicon Valley, or hit up any one of those inspiring 30 Under 30 lists. I can however, understand where the sentiment originated from. Being a generation that has spent nearly the majority of our adult lives on social media, a multitude of platforms that can seem trivial and time-wasting to a boomer, we are trained to believe that our lives should look as we want them to; nicely filtered with pretty things to photograph. And when they don’t, we look elsewhere for opportunities or jobs that will help us to fulfil this need. Perhaps to a boomer, this lack of interest in “sticking it out” may appear as laziness, or a lack of fortitude. Personally, I call it hustle. I don’t think it’s a negative to want a great life for yourself and to look for opportunities that will help you create that life. After all, we only get one, right? May as well make it f*cking amazing.

Perhaps to a boomer, this lack of interest in “sticking it out” may appear as laziness. Personally, I call it hustle.

Guilty, I have a pinterest board dedicated to inspiration, aka motivating and encouraging quotes that remind me everyday to keep working towards bringing my dreams to fruition. And everyday I hustle towards bringing my dream closer; being the founder and operator of a widely read news and financial literacy site that inspires personal confidence when it comes to finance. The life of an entrepreneur is a grind. The ups and downs are taxing and these light little quotes assist a great deal in helping me keep my eye on the prize.

Further, and at the risk of sounding depressing, we really just get a few shots to create lives we love, and the time to do this is now before we really start piling on the financial commitments and big change becomes significantly less realistic. I think that risks are well worth taking, in fact, lately I’ve been living by the mantra of, “what’s the worst that could happen?” Excitement is the spice of life and I can’t imagine anything worse than having regrets about what could have been if only I’d tried. Ever read Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich? After I put that book down all I could think was, “damn I don’t wanna be the person who stops three feet from gold.” I hope, for all of you entrepreneurs, that your venture takes you all the way to the stars, and in the event that it doesn’t, I hope it was a crazy and exciting ride that you’ll always remember and be proud of.

I hope, for all of you entrepreneurs, that your venture takes you all the way to the stars, and in the event that it doesn’t, I hope it was a crazy and exciting ride that you’ll always remember and be proud of.

Regarding entrepreneurship, I think the gender portion of the gap also comes into play here. Society seems to have different expectations as to what it wants from us. Historically men are the entrepreneurs and that has become society’s proverbial comfort zone. There also seems to be some underlying expectation that as women we aren’t geared towards making money and are working until we choose to begin the next phase; like marriage, or motherhood. Clearly this is false, yet this notion persists. I know this because I feel it everyday. I am not given the same level of seriousness as a male counterpart. This is based on personal experiences where I feel that I am being patronized with a “tut, tut that’s sweet” type of response to what I do, whereas I know that if a guy had said what I just said, he would likely have been recognized for his creativity and gutsy move into entrepreneurship.

Case in point: Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. His brash and wildly incorrect statements about the economy are actually given authority in that they are allowed to be said without dramatic pushback, whereas Hillary’s detailed and well-informed economic statements and plans are both given question and ignored for other more sensational topics (I’m looking at you, Matt Lauer).

Now, I know that as women we have helped to create the idea that men are better business people than woman: we do not ask for the same rewards that men do. It is statistically proven that we ask for less when it comes to salary, venture capital or opportunities in general (HBR discusses this here). While there are more women enrolled in universities today, there are more men enrolled in the business and science faculties; notably the faculties that will provide an education that leads to a higher paying job. Why? Our education is completely our choice, there is nothing preventing us from choosing what path to take in both secondary and post secondary school (barring personal situations). Perhaps it is because we have been guided by parents who are students of the old school where women were encouraged to pursue more “feminine” pursuits?

I feel that it is now time to disclose that I do not consider myself a feminist.

Going further, I feel that it is now time to disclose that I do not consider myself a feminist. This is not because I do not believe in women’s rights, gender equality, equal pay or any of the other initiatives based around creating a level playing field for men and women. I believe that there is no reason that one person is less than another. Race, religion and gender should not be part of what shapes an opinion of what someone can do or achieve.

The reason that I do not call myself a feminist is the same reason that I am not a proponent of group labels in general. I feel that today labels can often do more harm than good. Calling attention to a group for its societal differences can work against itself in that it has the ability to frame the group as victims who desire special attention. I believe that if I refer to myself as something other than my actual characteristics, then I am actively saying I am unequal to you, whether greater or less than. In the case of feminists, actively calling out women as unequal to men suggests segregation and therefore seems to me to defeat the purpose of the movement’s mission. Then again, opinions are like _______, and everybody has one.

Now speaking more directly to the niche that I have chosen to work in, and as part of this belief that rather than campaigning for existing differences, we campaign for making choices moving forward that will put us on equal footing, I am vehemently against the idea that in order for finance to be interesting to women it needs to be coated in pink and dressed up with some sort of shopping analogy, as it very often is. Why do we do this to ourselves? These personal finance books for women, we all know them, are written by women! Insert face palm here. There is no difference in what men and women need or want to know regarding finance, but both can benefit from a simplified, relaxed approach to the understanding of it (enter The Paper & Coffee and a little self promotion). New York Times writer Tara Siegel Bernard put together an interesting article about this back in 2010.

Information is the great equalizer. I think we can all agree on this, it is why such focus is placed on high school graduates entering into post secondary education (though I would like to note that the most intelligent and sharp people I know are self educated, in addition to time spent in school). This being said, education is a given, especially in a country like Canada where nearly all of the people you know have a university degree or diploma. Yet with the social equalizer that is education and information, a great gap persists between the classes of our society. Even in writing that I feel like I have made some kind of politically incorrect statement, but we all know it to be true and the evidence is parked right outside (I’m writing this from the financial district of downtown Vancouver).

If you look at those who are considered to be wealthy, discounting those with family money that has been passed on, wealth has largely been accrued by thoughtful investing, whether that be in real estate, the markets or a new company. Investing is a learned skill. These people had to gain an understanding of how each investment opportunity works, how our economy will affect their decision and then how to manage the investment. And at the risk of going even further out on a politically incorrect ledge, those who build wealth are typically men. And good on them, after all, financial freedom is not biased in who it partners up with.

So while information is the sundae, financial information and understanding is the chocolate sauce, nuts and cherry on top.

So while information is the sundae, financial information and understanding is the chocolate sauce, nuts and cherry on top. Financial literacy is the great equalizer of the already educated. Men aren’t born with an innate understanding of money, however I do believe that they are inclined to be more interested in it thanks to societal ideologies, the influence of their fathers and the typically male career path that they are introduced to from a young age. Finance isn’t hard. In fact, it’s very interesting and exciting – especially when you’re watching your own money grow and get to start playing with new levels of investments. Presently though, learning about finance can be a challenge what with the very serious tones of the newspaper or the condescending lightness of existing personal finance literature. I’m striving to hit a path right through the middle, where you can take what you just learned and apply it to your banking or financial plans, share it with friends or let the information guide a future-facing decision.

And there you have it, an opinion piece that vaguely follows a theme but really just lets me share all of the things I’m thinking about today. I’m curious to know what you agree with and what you don’t; comment here or email me at info@thepaperandcoffee.com. Perhaps you have some views you’d like to share as well? I’m keen to know and interested in publishing others’ opinions – email me.

Cheers.